Motherhood Without the Filter

March 22, 2018
  
 Disclaimer: I wrote this post months ago, and never published it because it sounded so selfish, but I do think it's important that women see the reality of motherhood, not the filter that instagram provides. So here is a real look into motherhood, not an attempt for you to feel sorry for me, but in an attempt to show you authenticity.

I have probed the internet for all the wisdom I can gather in regards to motherhood. Everyone just seems to be doing a stellar job with stellar children that have stellar temperaments. It's all nonsense. How these women manage to work from home and go to the gym astounds me. I can't seem to get my hair done without overlooking the wailing in the background. Let's be real, motherhood is tough. Here's just a glimpse into motherhood lately:

1. I can never manage to wake up early enough. 
JW is the only necessary alarm clock in the house. Despite my attempts, I can't seem to get ahead of him. Once this week though, he grumbled instead of sobbed and I was able to make coffee. Score!

2. Working from home is nearly impossible. 
I teach one day a week and it takes me the other 4 days to write my lesson plans. JW will only play independently for so long and naps are short.

3. Chores are left unfinished. 
On top of the 4 days it takes to get my work done, it takes 4 days for me to get a load of laundry from hamper to washer to dryer and back to closet. Once a week I manage to do a load or two of dishes, and I realized today my bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a month. Normal for some, but not for me.

4. The things I want to do are replaced by the things I have to do. 
Because of the delay in all the aforementioned tasks it's difficult to accomplish a workout plan or a blog post.

5. Some days I forfeit. 
I lay JW down on his play mat and I turn on the TV. It's the one thing that brings me the most guilt, and simultaneously the most peace. Sometimes I just need a break.

It may not be all rainbows, but there are rainbows. My days are fueled by baby smiles from a boy that doesn't care whether or not I'm wearing makeup. I get excited over watching his tiny fingers learn to grasp objects and the joy it brings him when Dad comes home. He may not nap much, but he occasionally sleeps through the night. I'm blessed even in my chaos. The reality of motherhood is not simple, but it sure is rewarding.

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